Para acabar la raza...

You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.

- Charles Buxton

My DH is running the OKC Memorial marathon this weekend. A marathon...you read that correct, 26 grueling miles of running, because he likes it. I think there's more to it than that. He's going to turn 35 this year. He's going to finish his first year of nursing school in a few weeks, and he's going to finish his first year of being an awesome father.

Why not run a marathon? Why not battle thyself, it's an age-old plot line. I give him a hard time, but I'm really proud of him.

As for me, there are many things I'd rather do than run for five hours. Paint, drive, watch television, shoot...even walking would be better. He jokes about the signs people made in previous years to cheer on the runners. My personal favorite, "It's easier than labor and delivery." After our 30-hour wait to meet our son, I can say, yes, yes it is.

So el nino and I will be at mile 13, mile 20 and the finish line reminding that husband of mine that we're on his team -- win or lose.

And then...I will apply BenGay and remind him he's no spring chick anymore.

Comedy Central is comedic

Methinks Comedy Central is a little cowardly. But at the same time the censoring is ironic and sort of making a joke of itself. Censorship is never a good thing.

Free Range parenting

As an anecdote to take your children to work, this blogger is proposing leaving them at the playground.

Apparently in our quest to make the lives of children safer we have begun to be afraid of our own shadows. My parents divorced when I was in the third grade. My mother commuted an hour and half each way to her government job. My brother and I had to get ourselves ready for school. We had to get to school and we got ourselves home each night. By 5:30 p.m. my mom would be pulling into our lengthy gravel driveway and then it would be time for dinner. I will admit, I was grateful for that driveway that you could see out the front windows of our ramshackle farm house. Plenty of time to stop whatever nonsense you were doing and tidy up the living room.

I'm not sure how she felt about that commute or the safety of her children in a bucolic Southern Indiana town. Truth is, we always had adults around us. Our neighbors were retired and lived at the other end of the gravel driveway. My fourth grade teacher lived next door to them. I guess if we had a real problem, we had adults we could go to. I wonder how I would feel now as a parent not having a cell phone. From the time she left her office until she got home, we had no way of contacting her. No cell phones. No texting. Seems weird now.

Each morning I walked about 20 minutes to the nearest bus stop. I remember spending mornings dwaddling with my other neighbor's horses. Poking around at businesses while waiting for the bus. Some mornings me and my good friend Jenny would purposefully miss the bus. We would show up at the house where the bus stop was, ask if the bus had come and then take a ride from the mom at the house, who didn't want two girls sitting on her porch all day. The kindness of strangers.

At 8 years old, I rode my bike into "town," and got the mail or rented a movie. Maybe if I was feeling up to it, I'd climb on the tank outside the courthouse, or pop by the library, or maybe ride around the town square a few times. Would I allow my child to do that today? Would my mother allowed me to do that if she knew?

I guess she trusted that we had good judgement. That the parenting we got was solid and stuck with us. We had two barns and a pond near our home. I spent hours after school climbing around in those barns full of rusty nails or shoddy floor boards.

We had forts in the woods. I chased cats across the corn fields, and never once jumped in that pond without parental supervision. There were a lot of things that could have gone wrong, but they didn't. I survived. I marvel now at the freedom I had as a child and wonder if I could allow my child the same risks.

I can update frm my phone.

Resume living

I'm back. It's been awhile. Life has changed a little since December 2008. I've learned what it means to be a parent. What it means to make life and share life. I've learned that I've got a lot to learn.

I've also learned that writing is essential. A lot like breathing to me. It needs to happen. It needs to be daily and it needs to be organic. That's why I'm here again. I have a lot of blogs, social networking, other forms of self promotion. I realize this blog is more of an outlet with no expected return. The rest have been monetized and branded. This, for the few who read, is who I am in the word. I hope to be back here with more frequency. And the best perk of being expected to write from your world more than once in a blue moon...you are forced to live actively. To pay attention to the world around you and to pay attention to what inspires you and what strikes you.

So here I am. Come along.

Sunday Drive

I'm a planner. I like to know what is around the next corner. I want to be prepared and have the right gear, raincoat or whatever I need. Problem is, life doesn't work out that simply. Plans for us, are they predetermined? Divinely. I know so.

I've been thinking too much about the future lately. What will it hold, how will my life change? Seems like I can't stay content with how things are now. I get so far ahead of myself that sometimes I forget to look around me and appreciate where I am. Last year at this time I was obsessing about the details of my wedding. This Christmas I had to fight the urge to obsess about the future, my life, would I have a family. Is there ever a time when we aren't wanting something? What does that feel like? Sometimes this obsessing keeps me from enjoying family, my husband and the life that I've worked hard to attain.

I've realized a few things: I am not meek, but I don't want to work like this forever. I have other skills and I want to be more creative. Yet, being creative is merely doing it, not just talking or thinking about it.

Sometimes I find the only thing that stops the obsessing is prayer. God has plans for me that I haven't even begun to understand or see. He is preparing me for things that I will do, and using the sting of disappointments to keep me steadfast in my faith.

I long for things. I want dreams to come true. Walking through my neighborhood on Christmas Day afternoon with my husband, I realize that I'm not walking these streets alone anymore. I used to make myself go for a walk with my dog. Maybe I thought the fresh air would lift my spirits. I used to see people like me and my husband and wonder if I would ever know that sort of union. A partnership and a commitment. Just when I decided that sacrificing happiness for companionship wasn't worthwhile, someone special came into my life.

I am reminded that God is preparing us for things, unseen. Faith...and I should have more of it these days, and enjoy the scenery.

Reasons to love Christmas

Yes...I do have to make this list. I don't know if its the international economic crisis, the weather, the lack of time or the hormonal changes, but I can't get excited for Christmas. I'm ready to see parts of 2008 in my rearview mirror, and there are parts of 2008 that I want to live over every day.

Whatever the case is, I keep kicking myself in the butt to get excited for Christmas and to be pleasant holiday fun. So I'm making a list to remind myself why Christmas is such a great holiday, aside from the fact of Jesus being born to save us from our sins. I know, that's a pretty big one to put after a comma.

1. Christmas lights: They're pretty and make ugly things twinkle and look nice. It's also a good way to light up the neighborhood.

2. The big wheel: It was a great Christmas when I got that pink and blue Big Wheel. A plastic bike of wonder. I drove it through the house and through the garage.

3. Gift-giving: I think this is also what I dislike about Christmas. At a time of year when people should be loving and reminded of being selfless they are jerks. There's is a mentality to take or be taken. I'm opting out.

4. Time off: I'm missing winter break...still. I've been out of college almost 10 years. The task of getting ready for the holidays and being excited for the holidays is hard to do when you're working two jobs, in school and trying to be cheerful. But a few days off at Christmas are fun, and you can run around wearing stocking caps and jeans and get stuff done.

5. Movies: I like to see a holiday movie or two. It seems like Christmas is really the only time I allow myself that treat.

6. The children: It's fun to watch my nieces and nephews open up Christmas gifts. It's fun to watch my loved one open presents. However, I always feel like what I've given them is not enough, or they're just being nice. I'm sure that says more about me than them.

7. Dirty Santa: It's fun. It's good natured, but at the same time with underlying principles of greed and getting more than the next person. Ok, talked myself out of that one.

8. Christmas music: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "Oh Holy Night," are just a few of my favorites. James Taylor's Christmas album still one of the top picks.

9. Christmas baking: It's chaos and its sugar and flour everywhere, but it's also a time of year when I get to spend time with my aunts, cousins and friends doing something for other people.

10. Traditions: I'm thinking I need to start some new traditions with my husband that we can enjoy and look forward to. This Christmas has been hectic and lackluster so far. What traditions would you share?