Reciprocate, once more -- with feeling

Maybe years of training as a journalist is to blame. My new profession is full of passionate and emotional people and sometimes I wonder if I'm acting sympathetic enough..or emoting enough.

It's silly really. Blame journalism. You are trained to ask questions and not pass judgement. You are trained to that conversations are for a purpose: gathering essential information. You know when you have "the quote," in an interview. Once you get that nugget you stop listening. You start formulating a way to seem sincere, but wrap up the conversation quickly.

Working in the world of social workers is different. Very different. And it is good.

It's good to stretch and maybe see that the world of newspapers is quirky and dysfunctional. You can't expect a group of people who work in constant stress and thrive on chaos to chit-chat about the weekend or what you did for your birthday. Exchanges are more like this:

Editor: What's your plan today?

Reporter: Checking some things out, doing a little research.

Editor: Make something happen by 10:30 a.m. I don't care what it is. Make it a front page story.

Probably in the rest of the world things don't always happen that way. In my new job, work exchanges include discussion about fears, validation, appreciation and positive reinforcement. I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that, but I'm learning. And trying to reciprocate. Sometimes I just wonder if it sounds sincere...even when I mean it.

Introverts among men

An update: I've left the world of newspapers. In October, I became the policy director for the Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy. Using my communication skills, wits and know how for the children. I'm back at blogging...because I will always be a writer.

Networking is a sport. Sometimes a full contact sport. You have to know people, know of a few good topics to talk about that don't polarize those around you the point of awkwardness and you've got to know when to move on to the next candidate.

Writers/journalists/scribes (whatever name you chose) either excel at networking or suck, to put it bluntly. If you're a journalist, you've spent countless hours in awkward interviews asking people tough questions or very personal questions. Sometimes the frivolity of polite conversation is too much. If you're like me, you've also studied body language and know when someone isn't paying attention and perhaps making a mental grocery list. (That means it's time to move on or head to the bar in the networking world.)

If you're a writer, like a "writer" with a capital W -- your brain is probably too busy to be trifled with. That also makes you seem very antisocial, aloof and maybe mysterious. You know ladies, the "brooder" type of guys you dated in your early 20s..or at least I did.

There is a place for networking. But I prefer to call it what it is. It's relationship building. It's meeting people, getting their names or business cards with the understanding that at some point in life, you will be calling on them for a favor...and it won't seem so outlandish because "Hey didn't we meet at the (INSERT ORGANIZATION HERE) mixer last month." It's important, necessary and all part of the grown up world.

But it only works when everybody at the event has the same understanding and the same purpose in mind. Mixers are not for catching up with old college friends or long lost colleagues. That's what drinks after the event are for, otherwise being deep in conversation means there are bunch of people standing around waiting to meet you (because you are after all fabulous) that have to listen to every detail of your child's latest developmental milestone.

If everybody knows the rules, nobody gets left out.