Be the Change...

As cynical as I am, I'm always inspired by watching the Democratic National Convention. Every four years, regardless of who the nominee is, I'm inspired to dream bigger, do more and expect less. And when they pull Teddy Kennedy out to champion hope, who can't help but get on board. Unfortunately, it only takes about 24 hours for that to wear off and I get bogged down in the tedious details of daily living.

But what would it take to "Be the change that you want to see in the world?"
What would I have to do? What would I have to forsake and cast off? It's a curious thing to consider and dovetails nicely into a serman I heard Sunday. Are we living, in our hearts as God would want us to? Are we concerned with things that are eternal, not temporal?

I toured a juvenile detention facility today in Tecumseh. Oklahoma is one of the few states in the south where juvenile offenders are given a treatment based program, not a punishment sentence. They are expected to grow, progress, feel empathy and become productive adults. One girl I interviewed killed her mother. Her grandmother, her mother's mother, comes to see this girl every weekend. When she should carry rage, she carries forgiveness. Where she should harbor resentment and anger, she carries compassion and hope for this young lady. Eventually the young woman will leave the center. She will become an adult and she will likely spend the rest of her life trying to explain how she became who she is and how a grandmother cast off her own feelings in hopes the granddaugther would survive. Gives me chills.

As the newspaper industry flirts with downsizing I start thinking over things I could do outside of journalism. None of them for the money. Sadly, I'm not wired that way. I have been taught by my parents and family to serve things greater than yourself. To work for the common good and at the end of the day when you're tired and drained...do it some more. I have veterans, slained Marines and government employees in my lineage. I have a social worker mother who works everyday with the principle that people can change. People can grow and become better. The superintendent at the juvenile facility has seen his share of juveniles who take all the tools given to them and choose a life of crime. He continues to hope and believe that each child will make a different choice. I admire that courage and tenacity. I wonder if I could do more.

I called my Little Brother today. He's in middle school. He told me he's trying to save money to take a trip to France this summer with kids from his school. He's serious. How proud I am that my little brother dares to dream big and think about Paris, France, not just going to the pool over his summer vacation. He likes to cook. He reminds me that cooking at school has to be 'quick and easy.' I'm proud that he has cultivated other interests and frankly I'm proud of his nerdish tendancies. I'd like to think I have a little something to do with that. Teaching him to cook and showing him things. He might seem bored when we go to things like arts festivals or fancy restaurants. I like to think those were learning experiences.

What I admire most about his 6th grade mind, and what I lack in my own life, is the ability to believe in pipedreams.



Be the change that you want to see in the world. --Mahatma Gandhi

Dark Clouds

So I'm brooding and grouchy. Not sure why. Perhaps the BS of a job, any job really, is getting old. The attempts to stab people in the face with information...how can we package this different, better? Does the general public know where Georgia is? We don't want to spoil this Olympic swimming medal haze to actually think about a real crisis.

So there is that. There is the sad fact that I'm impatient. Have been and always will be. Being peppered with questions from people twice my age about things I can only profess to have a minimal knowledge is getting old. I'm getting old, I've realized. I don't care to "expand my portfolio" in an industry that seems to be flailing and bailing water. But I will expand because I love this profession and don't want to be seen as unyielding or unsure of how to progress in an ever-changing world. I tell my boss, "I'll do what you want me to do," but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

How did I get here, I don't know. But the general malaise, is becoming just that, a sickness that I'm quite sick of. I keep thinking of ways to be excited about a professional I've spent most of life pursuing. Maybe it is investing in new technologies and finding new ways to tell stories, different ways. Ways that I must be in control of and be willing to give 12-hours of my time to each day. There's the rub. That is the real root of all this. I'm not lazy, but I'm not interested in investing my free time to a skill, when I'm nearly a third of the way through my life span and I want to invest in things outside of work. There has to be a balance I'm sure, but what I've learned is that I don't know how to balance the time I put into my craft -- something I love.

So there is that. Just ranting. Thank you for reading, all three of you. :)