Today I weigh less than I did in high school. I started Weight Watchers in anticipation of my 30th birthday. All my life I used excuses like big boned, hour glass or curvy to describe my body. The fact was...I was overweight. I was healthy, active and my blood pressure wasn't through the roof. Yet my BMI score had me at obese. I decided that if I didn't lose weight and adopt healthy habits at 30, I would never do it. I kept a food journal. I kept track of points and worked out nearly five days a week, sometimes for more than an hour. I was also getting married that spring. My husband and I had taken engagement pictures a few months before I started my weight loss plan. I didn't like how my arms looked puffy and my rump round and out there. I was going to pay a lot of money for wedding pictures. I wanted to love the way I looked in them. Not look at them and say, "Well, my hair looks good, but look how fat my arms are." With that in mind I stayed motivated and lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers.
Since then, I've kept it off for the past three years. In that time, I've had a baby and gained 50 pounds. But now, I'm proud to say I'm back below my target weight. It feels good to finally have control of my body, my weight and my self esteem.
The next challenge is finding time and resolve to workout when I really just want to sit and relax. Relaxing is what got your rear so wide, is what the voice inside my head says. Maybe if I just quit eating cookies or an afternoon sweet everyday and upped my water intake I would feel a little less like I'm cheating.
Fact is, I haven't really worked out very hard since my son was born. I do a lot of baby carrying, but I haven't had a workout when I've been solo and lost in my thoughts. I had hoped to run a 5K this fall, but it doesn't look likely. I haven't trained and don't see my free time opening up anytime soon.
So the small, short term goal for now is start keeping a food journal again and lay off the daily cookies. We'll see if I can make that happen.
When I started Weight Watchers I weighed 170 pounds. I'm not sure my diet was all that bad, but it was ill informed. I didn't realize I could eat a chicken breast and consume less calories than eating a handful of Wheat Thins.
I don't remember where I was the moment I realized I had made a substantial change in my life. I remember walking past store windows and seeing my reflection. In the past, I would focus on the roll in my midsection. Once I lost weight I stopped. I didn't look at my reflection with excuses ready and platitudes to encourage myself after the critique. I was happy with myself, just as I was. That feeling, and the feeling of trying on jeans at a store and not having to jump up and down to get them zipped up keeps me focused on what I put in my mouth.
I stopped thinking about food as something to bring me joy three times a day. Food became fuel. It's what powered me through the day, so what was the most efficient way to consume calories and still get all my nutrients. It's not that I don't eat desserts or fall off the train. I just know that when I indulge in a piece of cake or a cookie, I wait for the next train and hop on again.
